The BIG Picture

I have always had the capability to learn things quickly if I'm shown how to do what ever it is that's being done. now if given a task and left on my own to figure it out with no instruction yes I can do it but it takes me much longer because I have always doubted my capabilities, I have lacked self confidence. I have always settled for just acceptable not awesome.
      I guess there comes a time in your life when you take a look around at the big picture and think to yourself is this the roll I want to play ? You are the star in your own movie and guess what you also write the script well your lines anyway, you set the scene, you pick the cast, you are the produce,director, the head honcho. sometimes it takes people along time to realize that with all the power you have in each choice you make determines who your character is in the BIG PICTURE . When I took a step back and looked at my big picture there were some things I didn't like about my character so I had to analyze my situation and ask for help understanding how to take the steps needed to permenently change the direction in which my character was headed. In doing that it also made me realize that I really can be exactly who I want to be, I just have to do it, research things I like, explore my interests, learn things by applying myself actually doing the leg work to make ideas become more than just ideas, if its in my mind its possible and I have to just believe that. That means I have to believe in myself, that's a very hard concept for me, I suppose it is for alot of people.
       I believe in myself. WOW that feels good to say actually....... I BELIEVE IN MYSELF. I can say that today and mean it, I have confidence in knowing that its true. I know god has so much to do with GOD. I have always believed in god, but lately I have been more interested in knowing more about him and being curious in areas that I have never been before I am on a quest spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I feel enlightened, encouraged, determined and purely excited for what my life has in store for me, and who my character will become, and most of all what plan god has for me in the BIG PICTURE . .....you get to make your choice each day....don't wait for what you want learn how to go get it, that's what I'm trying to do anyway